New resolve! Highlight important points in ODJ and exercise SELF CONTROL. Haha, I wrote "SELF CONTROL take God's word for it!" on a post-it and pasted it on my wall, hopefully it helps (:

My sis just barged into my room asking for cereal and I shooed her away, that's something I'll need to work on, heh. It's like a reflex action now, she comes into my room, I tell her to go away. But God said to "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14), which is obviously really difficult to accomplish, so help me out yeah (:

Also, " If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26). Not gossiping is, of course, is an extremely challenging task too. In ODJ, Regina Franklin wrote "We can say we're just venting or even claim our arrows are well-deserved, but the fact remains". This totally applies to me, sometimes I justify my words by saying that I'm merely venting or that everyone else is doing it too, but I usually forget that God told us not to talk about people behind their backs. Sigh.

And and and there's "Think clearly and exercise self-control", meaning no more Youtube or being too lazy to go to McDonald's to study or getting distracted by music ): sniff.

Through all this, there's one thing I (we?) have to remember "store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal" (Matthew 6:20). No matter how much it feels like a burden to not complain, argue or gossip, and to exercise self-control, the treasures that God has stored up for us in Heaven are way better than anything we could ever have on Earth (: God bless <3

Hillsong [heartheart] (: Been listening to it the past few days. Exams really are a time when we need God a lot, but I feel quite guilty for running to God now and being so passive the rest of the time. I thank God for helping me get through my first day of revision- Weather&Climate and Nutrition in Plants- even though I only started around 6 (after the Amath mock paper) and finished at like, 10 in macs. Drew up the study plan today, chapters to study each day and approximated time needed to complete them. It made me feel really accomplished, haha. Hopefully I actually stick to this plan (totally dumped my prelim exam revision timetable), O levels are in 39 days and I'm trying to stop myself from panicking. Oh and by the way, the abundance of proper punctuation in this post is an attempt to begin preparing for the English paper (it's the first one!), haha (:
Chem chem chem, I need to mark my chem tys stuff now, bye!

i've been treating this blog like a twitter page, haha. and since nobody comes here anymore, i can type all the crap i want (:
i've been trying to think of a storyline for a personal recount or narrative for the past like, 2 hours? i can choose one of these topics: food, windows, sacrifice, fear, time, comfort. i already wrote a personal recount for comfort on friday, but now i need another essay by monday, sigh.
o levels are in 51 days! i realised an L1R5 of 6 is really quite difficult to obtain, meaning i may not make it to NJ or VJ, which means i'll have to go to AC or TJ (so far away D: ). sigh. but for now i have to think about O LEVELS, not jcs.
still can't think of a storyline ):

i hate this i hate this i hate this

Right now i really really very extremely strongly dislike english and geography.
oh sleep oh precious sleep where art thou? i am absolutely going to collapse tomorrow, and it's all your fault. yes, you.

I really couldn't ask for more. What's stopping me.
Oh goodness what is all this. Stop thinking, hurry up and do something about it.

Dear Lord, please please please help me to listen (perhaps through ODJ?), i really need your peace. So bad.

but we can't go back in time.
do not. ever. screw up prelims.

Had a gargantuan change in mindset today.
worst case scenario- i end up extremely depressed,
best case scenario- i live happily ever after.
the end.

haha this is the first post i've made in a really long time (:
stressing myself out now, so i've decided to blurt my troubles all out onto this... completely public blog o.o but its not like people read it anyway, so unwanted spreading of information, regarding my amazing abilities to make my life miserable, won't be a problem
57 wonderful days til the start of O levels, lovely. i haven't really started revising because i've been doing all the papers that our teachers set for us (3 to complete this weekend). i often say that i blame it on them, but i know that the underlying problem is my (severe) lack of time management, heh.
prelims ended already. they turned out... not satisfactory i guess. but that (once again) is because i didn't start studying early enough. my marks were as such- emath1, amath1, bio2, chem2, chinese(o levels)3, english5, geog6, combinedhumans6, L1R5- 17. i know i can do much better than that. if i am to go to njc (it's conveniently close to my house), i NEED those 6 points.
Our Daily Journey (ODJ) devotionals start on 1st September. i really really really can't wait. recently i've been leaving God out of my life and instead turning to the radio to drown my worries/ sorrows. which is very very very bad. God is so much better than the radio. so hopefully ODJ will put me back on track (:
speaking of God, youth december church camp this year is gonna be AWESOME. because i'm finally helping out in a comm (: hospitality (because i'm in hospitality in the normal youth service anyway :D ) mei en's joined that comm too, it'll be nice to work with her
prom is like, on the 19th, only 4 days after the Os end, and i. have. no. dress. i can finally fit into my mom's dark/olive green floor-length gown, but that will probably make me stand out like a sore thumb among all the shorter dresses. i could re-use the dress from the scmun d&d, but something-that-i-won't-tell-you is deterring me from wearing it =/ aunty beth said she'll ask her niece (a tailor in hawaii, i think) if she can help me make a prom dress (: so nice right
i have this terrible terrible habit of doing things that aren't good for me just to prove to myself that i can do that thing. for example not studying for a test, predicting a fail, and receiving a fail, just to prove that my prediction of a fail was right. or being mean, just to prove to myself that i'm strong enough to do it and am not a softie. basically, i'm a afraid of failure. this seems contradictory to my previous example of failing tests, but in those scenarios, succeeding to predict a fail seems (but obviously isn't) better than studying and then failing, at least when i don't study, i can say that if i studied i would have passed. there are other strange things i do that i myself cannot comprehend (can't think of any right now). i really really want to take a psychological assessment to just find out why i do so many strange things, something/one that will just tell me EVERYTHING about myself, so i won't have to keep confusing myself.
the answer to all my troubles is of course very simple- God. but sometimes (many times, actually), i don't know whether or not i should do something, especially when it is a morally neutral decision (e.g. should i or should i not talk to a person). i know i learnt in sunday school that God really doesn't mind what decisions you make regarding these minuscule issues, what is important is that you align yourself to His will, then everything else will fall into place. my brain is tired, i can't think about all this simply complex stuff anymore.
oh btw my maternal grandparents gave me some myrrh from their january trip to israel, it smells nice (:
until the next time i feel extremely bothered/ stressed/ happy,
goodbye (: